How to Slide Into DMs

Even though it used to be tied to pursuing someone you’re attracted to, “sliding into DMs” is now a broader term for contacting someone via social media. Try to think of it as “conversation starters” in social media space.

Sliding into someone’s DMs isn’t always an easy task. Impressions matter, and without your physical appearance, facial expressions, and body language, you have only words (or simple images) to pique someone’s interest or start a conversation. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to break the ice without being left on “Seen.”

Back to Basics

You’re probably wondering where to start. It might feel scary sliding into DMs for the first time, however, practice makes perfect. All people are individuals, and what might work for some, might not for others. The best policy is “Just do it!”

If you’re just starting out with social media, here’s how to access someone’s profile:

1. Find their post on your feed. Click on the post or on the header above it.
   
2. Select the person’s username to go to their account.
   
3. Hit the Message or DM button. If you don’t see one, you may need to send a friend, follow, or connection request depending on the platform.
   

These should work with some modifications for all common social media.

With that in mind, here are some ways to avoid coming across as “strange” (to avoid more inappropriate terms) or your message getting ignored or misinterpreted.

Send a Request

It’s better to add someone as a contact before sliding into their DMs. Some social media platforms have separate inboxes for messages from people who aren’t in your contacts list. You don’t want your message to end up in that folder with creepy spam messages. It might be helpful if you have some common connections as well, so you don’t get rejected.

Set the Tone

It’s important to know why you’re sliding into this person’s DMs. There are many possible reasons to do it, like flirting, connecting with someone who seems interesting to get to know, or reaching out to someone professionally.

Whatever your motivation might be, it’s a good idea to make your attentions clear. You wouldn’t want to take a casual and flirty approach if you’re connecting with someone for networking purposes. Setting the right tone ensures that you’re not taken the wrong way and improves your chances of continuing the conversation.

Ideas on How to Approach Someone

If a person you’re contacting receives lots of DMs daily, your message might get lost or go unnoticed. Sometimes it’s better to make a bolder move or make sure when you slide into someone’s DMs you catch their attention right away. However, it’s important to consider your motivation for contacting this person before diving into all the ideas.

Let’s go over some ideas that will help to make your message stand out.

Comment on Their Recent Activity

You can always comment on their posts. Avoid making generic statements and try to be specific when writing your comment. Older posts should be off-limits, though, as commenting on them might come across as stalkerish.

You can DM someone by reacting or commenting on their stories. Instagram emoji reactions might be an excellent intro and ice-breaker as well, but make sure they don’t come across the wrong way. You wouldn’t want to send someone fire or heart emojis and follow it with “You’re hot.” (even if there might be the tiniest possibility that someone would find it funny and respond).

Ask Questions

After you’ve made the first interaction, now what? Questions are most important to keep the conversation going. They are also a good way to slide into someone’s DMs. People most commonly post about their trips, food, and hobbies, so you can ask them more about places they traveled to, and restaurants they visited, or ask them to tell you more about a hobby they’re into. For example, if someone posted a story about a meal they made, you could send: “That looks so yummy! Would you mind sharing the recipe?”

Find Common Ground

When you go over someone’s profile and check out their posts, videos, and stories, you’ll get a clear picture of what they like and stand for. Try to pinpoint their opinions on “big topics”, their interests, and their hobbies, and see if you have something in common. Strike a conversation by mentioning something you have shared interest in, in a way that will captivate their attention.

Pets

People love to see, share, comment, and post content with their pets on social media. If a person you’re connecting to has a pet, it’s one of the few natural ways to connect. Try sending a picture of your pet with a funny comment, or even some relatable pet memes.

Friends

This is certainly old-school advice, but you can always slide into DMs by asking someone about a shared acquaintance. First, check all your shared connections and then slide into DMs with a question like: “Small world. How do you know Bob?” If they had any photos or videos with that friend, it would even be an even better place to start: “Mia is my friend from high school. I didn’t know you were close.”

Compliments

Complimenting someone’s appearance is a bit passe, but it might work in some instances. If the person you’re contacting has loads of selfies on their profile, follows beauty bloggers, or is into fashion or make-up, it might be a smart choice.

However, giving compliments is so much more than that. People love expressing their opinions on social media on various topics from music to politics. They love showing how passionate they are about something. You can compliment their knowledge about certain topics they posted about, or their personality traits, like boldness or sense of humor.

Dos and Don’ts

Contacting someone for the first time can be a sensitive thing. There are all kinds of people on the internet, and most people are very cautious when it comes to responding to strangers in their DMs. Here are some guidelines on what to keep in mind when sliding into someone’s DMs.

Do:

• Send your message during the daytime.
• Be polite and keep the conversation light.
• Use proper grammar and spelling.
• Avoid sensitive subjects.
• Respect boundaries.

Don’t:

• Use vulgar words.
• Overshare or get too personal.
• Ask for personal information.
• Send more than two messages in a row.
• Be aggressive if someone doesn’t respond.

Maintain Your Profile

You need to consider that if you’re sliding into someone’s DMs, they’ll certainly want to check who they’re texting. If you don’t have any posts on your profile, a profile picture, any connections, or other verifiable way to make it seem like you’re an interesting person, there’s very little chance someone will want to reply to your message as it might come across as strange or suspicious.

Make sure that your profile seems presentable and that your profile picture isn’t super weird. Remember that first impressions do matter, especially on platforms like Instagram.

FAQs

Is sliding into DMs embarrassing?

It depends on how and why you do it. If you’re pursuing someone just to flirt with them and you’re vulgar or aggressive, you’ll likely get rejected. However, if you’re being respectful and polite, there’s no reason to get embarrassed no matter the reason you’re reaching out.

Can I slide into DMs for professional reasons?

Yes, you can. Many people use this method for networking or to make inquiries about someone’s business. Even LinkedIn has a message feature for that reason. But, you don’t want it to be off-putting, so try to be smart and tactical about it.

What if my message was ignored?

Don’t take it personally. Not everyone feels comfortable with people sliding into their DMs, especially if they previously had some bad experiences. So, it’s not always about you, or your approach. Some people might even unfriend or block you. The only thing you can do is respect their choice and move on.

Stay Connected

There aren’t any golden rules when it comes to social interactions, but first impressions do matter, even in the virtual world. These tips might be handy if you’re learning how to slide into someone’s DMs and kickstart a conversation with a person of interest. With a bit of courage and confidence and some practice, you’ll get better at connecting with others through social media. But remember to be polite and respectful of other people’s time and boundaries.

What methods have yielded the best result when trying to slide into someone’s DMs? Share your experience with us in the comments.